Table of Contents
Discipline is not a “four-letter” word. Yet for most people, it may as well be. Why is this? You already know why. Self-discipline arrests the corruption of the soul and forces it to comply with character standards known to the mind and the spirit. Souls don’t yield willingly. To be a whole and functional person, God leads the human spirit, and the spirit expects the body and soul to yield. For those who understand this design, self-discipline leads to welcomed freedom. But for others, ignorant of the deceptions of the soul, self-discipline is a kill-joy, a party-pooper or a wet blanket, spoiling all the fun. I pray your mind is freed from the soul’s deception so that you too will learn to appreciate the life of freedom that awaits you when your spirit is set free from the body of death we each are bolted to.
The Bible is quick to admit that discipline isn’t fun.
11 No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields a peaceful harvest of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11
The author of Hebrews has been working toward a mountain-top revelation for his readers. The mountain is Jesus. We climb it by faith and we are perfected to holiness by sufferings which are the disciplinary work of our loving Father. Chapter 12 of Hebrews makes this clear:
5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons:
Hebrews 12:5-10
“My son, do not take lightly the discipline of the Lord,
and do not lose heart when He rebukes you.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves,
and He chastises every son He receives.”
7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you do not experience discipline like everyone else, then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Furthermore, we have all had earthly fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them. Should we not much more submit to the Father of our spirits and live?
10 Our fathers disciplined us for a short time as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good, so that we may share in His holiness
Although suffering is never enjoyable on a physical level, the proper attitude in the spirit will recognize the value of discipline and anticipate the blessing on the other side.
Who Wants to be Meek?
Sadly, meekness has earned a bad rap. The picture of a 98 pound weakling, being bullied on the beach, despised by attractive women, is burned with scorn into the minds of modern men. However, the Bible’s definition of meekness is an entirely different picture.
Recall that Jesus pronounced a very specific “blessing” upon the meek in Matthew 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Matthew 5:5
The Greek word translated “meek” has a confused history. At the time of the writing of Scripture it was believed to represent a concept of being able to experience trials with the strength to react, but instead endures with composure, restraint and control. Jesus confirmed that people able to bridle their souls, under circumstances where injustice, persecution or oppression would normally justify swift recompense, would be the inheritors of the earth.
Many translations employ the term “gentle” or “humble” here, but these fail to communicate the availability of strength and the mastery over the soul required to suffer under hostility without becoming vengeful or bitter.
The better picture is a contrast between a wild horse and a well-broken horse. The wild horse, although strong and free, is utterly useless. Whereas the broken horse will be treated like a partner in any endeavor as its strength is controlled and subdued.
Often the great Jewish prophet Moses is mentioned in connection with meekness due to the reference in Numbers 12:3
Now Moses was a very humble man, more so than any man on the face of the earth.
Numbers 12:3
The Hebrew word translated “very humble” is a word that in most contexts does relate to a status of lowliness or being pressured by affliction or oppression. However, this definition just doesn’t seem to fit the mightiest leader, prophet, mediator, and lawgiver. When it comes to Moses, careful study of his life exposes an example of a man who obeyed God with selfless commitment, faith and strength. When Moses was under pressure, he let God lead. When God spoke, Moses followed.
When Hebrew scholars translated Numbers 12:3 into Greek, they used the same word that Jesus used in Matthew 5:5.
Meekness is a virtue, valued by Jesus and exemplified by Moses. How do we make meekness part of our character?
Principles of Self-Discipline
To achieve meekness, to gain mental and spiritual strength and master the corrupted soul, we’ll need help.
As was mentioned in the chapter on “Self-Control“, absolute, eternal deliverance from our corruption is a freedom that only God can give as we apply our faith in Jesus to a commitment that promises hope. When we trust in Christ and willfully track to a plan to obey Jesus, God grants a gift through the Holy Spirit of Grace, regenerating our hearts, releasing us from a fear of death, rescuing us from the burden of guilt and delivering us from the power of sin that afflicts us through our flesh. Note: God doesn’t make Christians sinless in mortal life, just forgiven and enhanced with God’s strength to fight back and resist sin.
Through the renewing of our minds by God’s Truth, by aiming our consciences to a North Star of justice and wisdom from above, we gain the power to be perfected in our moral character. God becomes our mentor and takes it personally upon Himself to discipline us when we falter.
To discipline our souls, we need to first understand a few concepts common to most souls.
Souls Avoid Pain
In addition to being instinctively gifted with a will to survive, souls can adapt and be trained. Souls can be trained to play musical instruments, bat fast balls, paint pictures, sculpt stone, sing and many other skills. This same adaptability becomes a principle to constrain bad behavior. When poor decisions become wrong behavior, as with children, an appropriate punishment can train a soul to avoid the pain of the punishment. If refusing to eat your vegetables gets you an early bed time, souls will adapt and eat vegetables to stay up later.
Parents often take the misbehavior of the children personally. This shouldn’t be the case. When parents understand the innate corruption of the soul, discipline becomes an act of love toward children.
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
Proverbs 13:24
No, the Bible isn’t advocating child abuse, but if left untrained to constrain the inborn evil, children will be abused by their own corruption. Wise, appropriate, discomforts lead a soul to think twice before entering into a behavior that has unwanted consequences. When training begins early enough in a child, this “bad behavior results in bad consequences” becomes a guardian over children.
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
Once children become adults, this kind of bridling of the soul is less effective. Adults who fail to control their bad behavior fail to keep a steady job, fail in relationships and have appointments with law enforcement. But when committed to improvement, even adults can train their souls to comply.
Souls Avoid Shame
Like the ability to learn and avoid pain. Souls likewise, with their keen sense of social belonging, avoid all pressures that would make them unacceptable to their peers. Each soul longs for and cherishes relationships. Status among family, friends and neighbors is incredibly important. In school or at work, behavior that stretches the boundaries or creates awkward moments earn disapproval, shunning and avoidance.
A lot has been said lately about “shaming” someone… that embarrassing act of publicly calling someone out for their errors, but the truth is it works. Nobody wants to be exposed for their moral weaknesses. Nobody wants to become the neighborhood gossip.
Give a soul a clear sense of moral gravity and include a vivid description of what can happen when found lacking and souls will steer clear.
Souls Can Endure For a Future Reward
Patience is the ability to promise your own soul that its need will be met at a later time. If that impulse to take what the soul needs now can be deferred until a higher priority need is satisfied, the soul will calm itself and relax.
When your stomach grumbles and your body begins to send you signals of hunger, promising your soul that dinner time is just ninety minutes away can often put that impulse to the background, quieting the soul, giving you the ability to focus on matters that are more important than food. However, if you body hungers and no possible plan exists to satisfy that hunger, the soul enters into a food craving obsession. A computer mouse starts looking like a muffin, a telephone handset is a juicy brat in a bun and paperclips in a bowl remind you of finger snacks.
This is true of nearly every need our souls crave. When lonely, think of the next time you’ll be together with loved ones. If you’re depressed, imagine how you’ll feel first thing in the morning after a restful sleep. If you’re anxious, work out a plan to solve what you are anxious about– or in the very least, work out a plan to get help in working out a plan. This kind of promised future satisfaction actually cause souls to hunker down and carry on.
Athletes press on when they are tired, knowing that the effort will be worthwhile. Musicians practice endlessly to achieve perfection. Students study, testing their knowledge and understanding because there is incentive in the professional career waiting for them after graduation.
The ability to defer a soul’s impulses for the reward of a better situation is priceless. And believe it or not, souls catch on and will eventually cooperate. Many work for years and years to achieve a goal that might last only moments. Souls do understand concepts like purpose and destiny. Ultimately most successful people have selfish souls that were willing for a time to work hard for that big payday.
Hopefully this concept sounds a little bit like faith. Read the chapter on “Faith” for more details.
When you faithfully fulfill the promises you make to your soul, to see that its needs are met in a timely fashion, your soul will trust you. Impulses won’t be so impulsive, emergencies won’t be such an emergency and you be able to curb those knee-jerk reactions so common to souls that only get what they want when they scream. When your soul trusts you, even logic and reason begin to appeal to the soul and it will calm itself just knowing things are all under control. The classic answer to all riots that upset us is, “It’ll be fine…”
These are probably the two most positive principles regarding the training of a soul: Souls adapt to physical and social pain and souls will endure for rewards. However, there are a few negative principles which need evaluation.
Souls are Easily Spoiled
As a corollary to the principle that souls avoid pain is the truth that giving a soul what it wants, every time it wants it will spoil a soul. Souls that get their way over and over again, gain strength by reinforcement. Both good and bad habits are results that the soul has learned to expect. Bad habits are hard to break since the soul reacts with fear, anger or even violence when the instant gratification is suddenly postponed.
Far worse than the pattern of a bad habit is an addiction. When the instant gratification involves a physical feeling such as a drug-induced euphoria, an escape from pain or anxiety, or sexual pleasure, the soul can become addicted to a cycle of behavior that is impossible to break without help. Curing yourself of an addiction is nearly impossible. Some define addiction as an inescapable slavery.
The slow descent into addiction always cuts off every escape route to deliverance on the way down. The conscience is battered into silence. Relationships with family and friends who would normally be influential are estranged. The mind once endowed with truth and wisdom rationalizes the bad behavior with lies that border on mental illness. The physical damage caused by the addiction seems to drive the behavior forward toward feeling better, but at the expense of strength and health. Physically, the act of denying that craving can become too painful to endure and the bad behavior is negatively reinforced.
Not only with drug addiction, but with almost every form of addiction, the person you once were is replaced with a soul so bent on self destruction and the destruction of others that its not hard to imagine that a demonic power of evil may contribute to the situation. I don’t feel comfortable blaming every addiction on Satan, but becoming a weak and ineffectual person, dysfunctional and broken is clearly a goal of the devil.
Terms like “slippery slope” and “avalanche” are recognized as apt illustrations to the dangers of spoiling a soul. Once started down the path, often times the “point of no return” is reached well before the senses detect the impending doom. If someone tells you, “You’re playing with fire!”, heed their warning.
I have a healthy fear of foods like popcorn, pizza, ice cream and watermelon. I know these don’t seem like much, but I will eat these foods in a blind binge where my mind shuts off and my body just feeds itself. I could literally be unconscious and my fingers could still, of their own will, shovel popcorn from a bowl into my mouth. I never stop eating these foods until I hate myself for the discomfort. The same situation arises at a good Burrito buffet– as I finish my final bites, I’m already thinking about what I should stuff into my next one, when obviously a second, two pound burrito, just isn’t going to fit.
It should be plain to everyone that spoiling your soul is a dangerous prospect. Reward your soul for patient endurance, yes; but repeated instant gratifications may cause Frankenstein’s Monster to rise from the slab in your soul.
You’ve perhaps heard the phrase, “All in moderation”? This is yet another piece of timeless wisdom from people who understand the extremes that a soul can fall into when spoiled. Train your soul, reward your soul and temper your soul to moderation.
Souls are Powerful Deceivers
So you think you are in charge of who you are and what you do? Here’s a test for you: try going without that favorite decadent luxury you fit into your schedule every day. I promise you that if you change your pattern of self gratification, you will get such a push-back from your soul that it will astound you. We just talked about addictions– yet most of us are deluded into believing we have no addictions. Try fasting for a day (eat nothing but drink water). I promise you that you’ll be subjected to a million thoughts rising from your soul in an effort to convince you that eating is a great idea. You might even get a headache– will you continue? You might get irritated and be difficult to live with during the fast– what does this all mean?
Bodies don’t like missing out on what they are accustomed to experiencing. I’m convinced your body will make up some physical malady to force you to give it back its bonus treat. You won’t just get a little grumble or a weak complaint, you’ll have a DEFCON 1, overblown, horrific disaster on your hands and if you don’t give your body what it wants, you’ll have a nuclear winter scenario to be responsible for. If you thought you had outgrown tantrums, you’ll be proved wrong.
Most Americans are overweight. Why? Well because they eat what feels good, when it feels good and as much as feels good. Due to the deceptive nature of the soul, the body’s eating isn’t a matter that should be turned over to just ones sense of feeling. Food is an unhealthy addiction, yet most folks are fooled into thinking they are healthy. “I’m not addicted to food!” “I can stop anytime I want!” Unfortunately, no. You’re just deceived.
Watch yourself and see what kinds of random rationalizations come out of your mouth when you contemplate going back for another plate at an all-you-can-eat restaurant. Phrases like, “can’t let that food go to waste!” or “dessert has nothing to do with being hungry!” are sure to convince your better nature to succumb to another unneeded mound of food.
This is your life and this is your body and nobody knows you better than you. Or perhaps that isn’t true. Self-awareness always includes a certain understanding of how gullible you can be when tempted to supply your body with ease and comforts, satisfying needs and wants. Remember that not every urge, hunger, want, craving or desire is legitimate. Ignoring that whiny immature voice of selfishness is often appropriate. Just straighten your back, lift your chin and tell your self to suck it up buttercup.
Like the other corruptions of the soul, the problem isn’t limited to just appetites. We often get our feelings hurt, but deny it. We hate other people, but deny it. We act in ways to promote ourselves, but deny it. Flattery starts on our inside and we love to hear good words about ourselves from our own mouths.
We love to spot failings in others, but excuse the same behavior in ourselves. We love hearing about others who hold the same attitudes and opinions as we do since it excuses us from having to condemn ourselves for immoral notions. Read the chapter on the “Eyes” to discover just how deceptive our souls can be– to the point of blinding ourselves to truths that would wrest control from sin and return mastery to the mind and spirit where it belongs.
Intoxication
It never ceases to amaze me how many things we do to our bodies which unwittingly decrease the power of our better judgment and give enhanced strength to our corrupted souls. So many things we eat or drink or do to ourselves result in stifling our inhibitions. What we normally wouldn’t do, if not under the influence of these toxic affects, we suddenly are ready to do when impaired in our reactions and judgment.
When I was growing up, drinking and driving led to a crime called “DWI”– Driving While Intoxicated. In our modern day, there are so many things we can do to ourselves which put lives at risk when behind the wheel, the crime is called “DUI”– Driving Under Influence. Any number of legal and illegal drugs now can jeopardize public safety if combined with a powerful vehicle. There are even “BWI” laws now– Boating While Intoxicated…
Alcohol, even in the smallest amounts, can calm the body, but it also dulls the mind, where all critical decisions are made. Large amounts of alcohol will produce large changes in your intelligence, even altering your demeanor and personality. Some people, normally quiet or reserved while sober, can become wild and violent while intoxicated. This is exactly what your soul seeks because then the cravings, lusts and desires that so corrupt our flesh can be the master for a time. Some drink to dull the senses of loneliness, helplessness and hopelessness, but these undesirable feelings only get supplanted by worse demons.
Like alcohol, other mind altering drugs create similar risks in your soul. Any change to chemistry in your brain has the potential to invert the God intended spirit over soul control, leaving the spirit enslaved to the soul.
Very few chemicals have been identified that contribute to a depression of the soul’s corruption– there are some, but even these can become a dependency that may actually interfere with God’s plan to use the suffering we experience in life to bring us a blessing. We all battle depression and some do need pills to cope, but perhaps God is giving us an opportunity to draw our strength and life from Him, depending on his promises and growing in the power that comes when we wait on Him.
Your best bet for any “enhancement”, where the mind and the spirit are clear and your soul and body comply, is the time-tested big three: Get plenty of sleep, eat a balanced, moderate diet and exercise regularly. These are the foundations of “good” habits– addictions that can lead to a better life and a discipline that makes you a valuable asset to God, your family, your employer, your community and your society.
Many children, mostly boys today, can’t sit still unless doped with brain chemicals. When I was growing up, boys did have problems sitting still, but the threats of being sent to the principle’s office or having my parents called were enough to give me energy to confront soul distractions. A spanking from time to time when I started thinking that these authorities weren’t all that respectable changed my tone quickly. Sadly, this won’t fly today. Yet I have spent a lot of time in my volunteer work with children and a safe but attention grabbing physical interaction gets quick results.
Buffet Your Body– Not Buffet Your Body
Paul was a master of this understanding in discipline. In his first letter the Corinthians, Paul passed along this bit of wisdom:
24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way as to take the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games trains with strict discipline. They do it for a crown that is perishable, but we do it for a crown that is imperishable. 26 Therefore I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight like I am beating the air. 27 No, I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.
1 Corinthians 12:24-27
For the trivia nuts, it is fun to point out that the Greek words translated “discipline” in verse 25 and in verse 27 are different Greek words– and neither are the typical word we associate with discipline. The word discipline is usually translated from the Greek word παιδεία (paideia) which carries the context of training or raising children. This is the word used in every instance of “discipline” found in the passages from Hebrews chapter 12 quoted above.
However the Greek word translated “discipline” in verse 25 is ἐγκρατεύομαι (egkrateuomai), which literally means “mastered or governed from within”. This word is typically translated “self-control”, but the BSB translators (as well as others) opted for “discipline”.
Similarly for “discipline” in verse 27. The Greek word here is ὑπωπιάζω (hupópiazó) which literally means “to strike under the eye”, creating an abstracted sense of compelling the soul by force to comply so that a greater good can be achieved. Older translations used the term “buffet” for this translation, as in “The raging storm buffeted the coastline.”
Paul, in this short passage uses several techniques to erase the compulsions of the soul, reigning in the misbehavior so that ultimately Paul’s spirit steers the ship.
Paul recognized better than most of us that having a soul under control is a powerful witness to others that following Jesus is a worthwhile pursuit. Had Paul been instead a slave to his own soul, others would have instantly identified his preaching as hypocrisy and ignored his message of hope.
Tips for Disciplining Souls that “Act Out”
The Buck Stops Here
In Act 1, Scene III of Shakespeare’s play, Hamlet, Polonius says:
This above all: to thine own self be true…
Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act 1, Scene III
Although countless critics have attempted to interpret this simple statement, the meaning at face value is already potent advice. Don’t let yourself get away with falsehood. Do not lie to yourself about faults and failures. Don’t excuse your sins. Don’t point fingers or blame others. Have a real sense of who you are and don’t accept what you do when you act out of character. The sooner you take responsibility for your behavior, the sooner corrections to self will ripple down to the soul where the pressure belongs. Souls hate truth. Souls scramble from the light like cockroaches. Be a man. Look that poor example square in the face and call it for what it is.
You’ll be tempted to hate yourself when your behavior brings who you are into question. Remember, we are all imperfect and that imperfection is a result of sin. God forgives sin and rescues us from our corrupted nature. You can forgive your own sin too and seek the power from God that makes sanctification possible. Endure the pain the process demands. Remember that on the other side of this trial of soul is a righteous peace that God and society bless.
You’ll find it much easier to accept yourself for who you are and the mistakes you make when you realize your faults are your path to maturity. You are a moving target. Let your faults propel you into growth. If you want to defend who you are in your current state of selfishness, you’ll lock yourself into a stagnant state of misery.
Stay Ahead of the Curve
Knowing that souls are so deceptive requires that you stay one step ahead of the creatively sly machinations your soul will invent to throw off the spirit’s domination. Where can you turn to anticipate these curve balls and practice roll-playing mental reactions before they embarrass you publicly?
Turn to God and His Holy Word. A daily devotion where your mind is filled with the transforming truth of God is the trick. When informed, the mind has an edge over self-absorbed souls. When you’re alerted about what to expect from sin, the surprise isn’t as debilitating. Use the stories of the Old Testament to see how other’s let sin tangle their lives and how God gifted them with deliverance through their trials. Use the life of Jesus as a perfect example to hold high as a goal, not beyond reach, but lifting your own spirit into the winds that blow in a Jesus direction. Use the awesome letters of encouragement from the Apostles to help you stay the course.
Your soul will grow in its cleverness so your mind and spirit must be growing all the time too.
One particularly helpful book of the Bible, designed specifically to guide pliable clay, is the Book of Proverbs. Note that there are 31 chapters in Proverbs so you can read one chapter a day for each month of the year. I would recommend making this book a part of your daily devotional for several years, letting the truths discussed in the situations of the early chapters and the random doublets of later chapters seep deeply into your understanding.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.
Proverbs 1:7
Be Your Own Mother
Think about how your mother used to motivate you. Did she reward you for good behavior and punish you for bad behavior? Try doing this Motherly training on yourself. Do you have a chore you have been putting off? Get that chore done before you make time for your next chill and relax.
Often times we schedule down time for ourselves. Make sure that all the important things are done before you reward yourself. Explicitly say to yourself, “Yes you can spend time on Netflix, but only after you get those bills paid.” “Sure, you can grab some ice cream anytime you want, but just this time, don’t grab the ice cream until you return that call.” “You need to answer that email before you go to bed.”
If you have a list, do the hardest things first. Don’t be tempted to get a few easy items out of the ways to make the list look shorter. We all like to see “to dos” get crossed off. Reserve this mental reward for the end when the hard ones are complete.
Do It Now
Did you not get something done when you had it planned to get done? Then do it now. Not later. Obviously you aren’t mature enough to manage your time and priorities yet. The time to do it is now when you are thinking about it.
Recall that souls are deceptive. If you put something off until later (procrastinate), your soul is banking on the fact that in a short time you’ll forget all about needing to get it done. Sure, making a list will help and so will placing the chore on your calendar, but by this time your soul has already won. Do it now. Once you get your schedule back under control, then you can plan and manage your work again.
Were you just suddenly reminded of a responsibility you haven’t met? God is reminding you. The mere fact that you were randomly reminded to attend to a matter is God’s voice rising up in those packets of raw meaning, communicating with your mind through the mind of the Spirit, to encourage you to take care of your responsibilities now. Doing it now, when reminded, may mean that God has aligned His providence to expedite the matter to your benefit. Putting it off will only skip the alignment God has ordained for you.
Wash your Mouth Out With Soap
For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, this one is a perfect man, able indeed to bridle the whole body.
James 3:2
Perhaps the best of all indicators to measure your own self-awareness is a monitor placed on your tongue. I’m not talking about that organ in your mouth, but the motivator behind the formation of the words your speak to others. When you analyze the motivation behind your talk and speech, you’ll know with certainty if your soul is master or if your spirit holds the reins.
The quote above is just the first verse in an inspired passage dealing with that part of our inner being where our words are inspired. If we, in our spirits and minds, can restrain our words to only emit meaning with truth, sincerity and love, then chances are we will have most of all the corruption in our souls also managed. The words we speak are able to show our level of sanctification, the process of our own sanctification and how well God’s Spirit has His way in our lives.
Jesus made this abundantly clear when challenged by the religious leaders of his day regarding the issues of ritualistic hand washing, a tradition of the Jewish culture at the time.
Jesus called the crowd to Him and said, “Listen and understand. A man is not defiled by what enters his mouth, but by what comes out of it.”
Matthew 15:10-11
Jesus went on to explain in verses 19 and 20 that eating with dirty hands didn’t have a correlation to spiritual defilement at all. When a person’s speech is motivated by a corrupted soul, then the end result is a confirmation of sin as a master of the soul.
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander. These are what defile a man, but eating with unwashed hands does not defile him.
Matthew 15:19-20
Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.
Psalm 141:3
Watch your speech carefully. If you can’t say anything nice, as the saying goes, don’t say anything at all. Ask Jesus to set a guard over your mouth as King David prayed, a guard who will read and review not only the word selection, but the motivation and intention behind those words. If any form of malice, envy, jealousy, hatred or self-serving attitude can be detected at all, further introspection, prayer and healing must take place before vocalizing the issue.
The advice I was given as a young Christian with pitiful tongue control was to find those verses in the Bible that referenced this principle and memorize them. It worked for me.
Much more is said about the topic of the speech in the chapter on The Tongue.
Analyze and Reprogram Triggers
Jesus made this advice crystal clear with an over-the-top picture:
8 If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than to have two hands and two feet and be thrown into the eternal fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.
Matthew 18:8-9
The point is we MUST figure out the sources and influences that drag us away from Jesus.
Everyone knows not to go grocery shopping while hungry. Your soul’s appetites are a strong force when your body is craving food. Once the shopping begins, your soul uses what it sees to get what it wants. Read the chapter on “Eyes” for a longer discussion on just how the corrupted soul uses the eyes to master and control us.
Eyes are a big one. Merely the sight of something can be a temptation if you let the image become a source of soul awakening. The soul is “shopping” all the time. When it sees something, it will begin immediately to influence you to fulfill its lusts. Don’t blame the trigger. Understand the lust or desire, acknowledge it maturely, and redirect both your eyes and thoughts to a better place.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on these things.
Philippians 4:8
If a certain event irritates you, leading you to say something that you shouldn’t say or do something you shouldn’t do, don’t blame the trigger, but ask yourself what it was about that trigger that bothered you. Pray about it… In fact, a good practice is to reprogram the trigger to send you to God for help. Most triggers, when they realize that instead of making you react irrationally, emotionally or violently, actually lead you to seek God, will become far less of an issue.
We all love to excuse our triggers by calling them “pet peeves”. This is yet another soul deception, so don’t buy it.
You’ll discover a lot about yourself when you study your triggers. Some are as simple as being too tired to respond graciously or too hungry to make shopping decisions. But others will send you back years, maybe all the way to your childhood, where a certain painful event left you with scars covering an unresolved pain or resentment. The parties involved may be already dead, but something triggers you and you respond in your soul to that pain as though it had just happened yesterday. Whoever happened to be the poor innocent soul who brushed against that festering wound now has to pay.
If you are a person of unhealed pains and interpersonal triggers, others will be doing their own triggers with you by avoiding topics that have triggered you in the past– they will “filter” you to avoid their own pain. Don’t be a person who causes others “walk on eggshells” when they are around you. Discover your triggers and get them out of your life.
There are certain inborn triggers that are too strong to merely face and vanquish.
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a man can commit is outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18
When it comes to sexual sin, I hope everyone already understands their triggers and reacts the way Paul advises. Sexual temptations will trigger physiological hormonal reactions that if not stopped before they start, will take you to a place where you are too weak to resist. Thus Paul’s plan is the best plan: flee. Put distance between you and the temptation. Get the trigger out of sight, out of mind and out of your presence. A careful and fearful understanding of this principle will generate a healthy fear of situations that can end in disaster. Yes, your body wants to sin sexually, but allowing it to fall into this sort of sin is actually going to do the exact opposite– instead of fulfilling a lust or desire, you will be harming and damaging your soul. You must treat the end result of a sex addiction just as seriously as a meth addiction.
Sexual temptations are often a point where we lie to ourselves and deny we have a problem, yet under the surface a true addiction is raging. If this is where you are now, seek help. Find someone whom you can bare your soul to and expect that they will require an accountability of every failing situation you face. The soul’s fear of shame and guilt, especially when exposed to others will slowly and surely put more and more distance between your weakness and vulnerability and the sexual point of attack. It will take time, but you must use all the tools described here with intense focus and prayer to our God of deliverance to find freedom again.
Personal Accountability
Personal accountability is a practice of truth interrogation. As was mentioned before, corrupt souls hate the light. Light shines in on your soul through questions. Ask yourself the tough questions and don’t settle for excuses. You’re likely already going to be beating yourself up for that obvious public embarrassment, but what about those moments of weakness when nobody is watching. Don’t let those private moments of poor choices and bad behavior slip by without a good scrubbing. Why did I just watch that movie with the racy love scene? Was Jesus proud of the way I handled that driver on the interstate? What unmet personal need just took over my personality and made me act the way I did? How come I just said that thing that is so uncharacteristic of me? Why am I so distracted?
Conversations with your soul aren’t a sign of insanity. Whenever Jesus asked His disciples a question, it wasn’t so that Jesus could learn some new information, it was so that the disciples would in turn ask themselves the same question and in the meditation and contemplation understand a little more about themselves.
5 When they crossed to the other side, the disciples forgot to take bread. 6 “Watch out!” Jesus told them. “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”
Matthew 16:5-12
7 They discussed this among themselves and concluded, “It is because we did not bring any bread.”
8 Aware of their conversation, Jesus said, “You of little faith, why are you debating among yourselves about having no bread? 9 Do you still not understand? Do you not remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? 10 Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? 11 How do you not understand that I was not telling you about bread? But beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”
12 Then they understood that He was not telling them to beware of the leaven used in bread, but of the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.
The example from Matthew above is only one of many. Jesus sees they have missed the point and proceeds to prompt them with several questions. We would call them “rhetorical” questions, but each question, if asked to their soul, would reveal an insight into their own lives. These questions from the Master, did lead them to a fuller understanding of a great truth. We need to be asked more questions.
Mentorships
We are broken lives, riddled with holes and covered with blind spots. Yet when we look in the mirror, our deceptive souls only let us see the superficial image, the facade and the photo-shopped portrait. We need a fresh set of eyes to critically examine our lives, from the superficial all the way down to the deepest hidden secrets of our soul.
The time-tested technique used by every man of God is the blessing of men with whom we trust to challenge us. We need to be called out for those angry words or snide remarks. We need to be asked to explain our true motives when an action has a self-serving appearance. We never see our own hypocrisy except through the eyes of others. Obviously women can do the same service for other women. The real test of your soul’s track to perfection is a spouse since they see in you what nobody else sees.
Of course, the Bible is THE all-sufficient, complete and lacking nothing, resource for godliness. Jesus is the friend we all need who sticks closer than a brother. But rarely will a man become the man who fulfills God’s potential without the help of others. Covet the friend who hits your harder than your enemies. Seek out companions who pray with you and for you.
Don’t Give Up
If there was really was an “Easy” button, we’d all be wise sages of spiritual valor by age twelve. But there is only one way to sanctification: discipline– and it is a hard and long road. Progress is made by baby-steps. Even after years of struggle, we rarely even detect those achievements and breakthroughs that are now daily a part of our favor and blessing from God.
Stick with it. Every thousand-mile journey starts with the first mile. If you give up, not only is starting over harder, but it can also be an opportunity you may never get again. Take advantage of the difficulties. Don’t let the opportunity to grow slip by. You’ll be tempted to make excuses, so don’t. You’ll be tempted to point fingers, so don’t. You’ll want the pain to end now, but embrace the purifying result that some inspired self examination has to offer. Ask others to review your interpretation. Tell your experiences to those you trust for a fresh set of eyes.
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31
I often repeat this line to others, and I’m sure those who know me are tired of hearing it: This battle is won by patience.
My favorite prayer to God goes like this:
Lord, I want what you have waiting for me on the other side of this struggle.
My expression of faith in God’s purifying work